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Fatwa ID: 78358
Title: My husband doesn’t want to convert: What do I do?
Category: Issues of Muslim Minorities
Scholar: Dr.Salah Al-Sawy
Date: 03/27/2009

Question

Assalam alaikum,

 

I am running a class for converts. One woman, who is in her 20s, asked me this question. She was married before converting and has a child. She then became Muslim, but her husband did not. Please let me know how I can answer her.

 

Jazakum Allah khair.

 

Hi Hoda,

 

I am still struggling with my situation about being married to my husband who is a non-Muslim. I make dua for him, and I have told him about the classes. He attended one time, but he won't convert for himself. He said he would convert for me so that we wouldn't have to divorce each other, but I feel that isn't a smart thing to do. I honestly feel like I am doing something wrong. Everyone says you have to leave, and I have read the Qu'ran; it says pretty much everything everyone else says. But then I think...if I leave, where do I go? I have nothing to my name except some clothes. This whole situation is depressing me, and I don't know what to do. Hopefully, you can help me.


Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful,

 

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his household, his companions and those who have followed him. To proceed:

 

May Allah reward you well for holding these classes and for taking care of the new Muslims. We ask Allah to make this a light for you between your hands on the Day of Resurrection. Ameen.

 

Concerning the sister in this situation, you know that if a woman becomes Muslim and her husband remains a non-Muslim, their marriage is suspended over the course of the `iddah, or waiting period [three menstrual cycles for most women]. If he embraces Islam, then their marriage is still valid and they do not need to make a new marriage contract. But if he remains on his religion, then she has a choice: she may either request an annulment in order to marry whomever she pleases or she may watch and wait, hoping that he will become Muslim. However, it is not permissible for her in any of these cases to allow him to have intercourse with her until he submits his face to Allah (Mighty & Majestic). Zainab, the daughter of Allah’s Messenger (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) kept waiting for her husband, Al-`As ibn Abi al-Rabi`, for a number of years before he finally became a Muslim. However, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) told her: “He must not come to [have intimate relations with] you, for you are not permissible for him.” Thereafter, it is up to the Muslim community to help her organize her affairs so that she will not need to remain under the authority of someone who does not submit his face to Allah (Mighty & Majestic). This is due to the Saying of Allah Almighty (interpretation of the meaning): {Then if you know them to be true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers, nor are they (the disbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them.}[Al-Mumtahinah 60:10]

 

May Allah increase you in knowledge and help you to apply it.

 

And Allah Almighty is the Most High, and He knows best.