Bismillah, Please explain the hadith about it being better to mix with people and endure their harms rather than keep away from them.

I try to stay involved with the community. At the same time, especially dealing 99% with women as I do alhamdulillah (I am female) at work and socializing, there is a lot of talking, emotional issues, gossiping, knowing each others` business, hurt feelings, drama… etc. that is hard to deal with. Many women like to talk a lot on the phones for example.

Their husbands do not talk to them or spend much time with them; they are bored at home with kids and housework, so they need company. I don`t know how many hours they must spend on the phone every day. Plus social visits.

If I avoid their talking, they get angry and offended at me. Even I used to get calls at work and a sister got offended when after half an hour of her call I told her I needed to get back to work!

Talking with sisters usually ends up with some element of gossip. Even 1 minute of gossip can ruin the entire conversation. I do not want to end up saying something wrong but feel trapped into situations where it almost becomes inevitable.

And just in general I do not like my business transmitted all around the community, or to hear something that is none of my business.

I do not like to be suspicious but sometimes feel there are sisters who serve tea just to be in a position to ask many, many questions!

How can I do my duty to spend time with my Muslim sisters but at the same time avoid these kinds of harms? Please advise! Jazakum Allahu khairan

In the name of Allah, all praise is for Allah, and may peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family. To proceed:

The Muslim who is patient when interacting with the people and endures their harm does so on condition that he interacts with them in good things if he can, and he avoids their harm if they offend him, he does not participate with them in reprehensible acts and he advises them with wisdom and good preaching.

And Allah Almighty is more exalted and more knowledgeable.