Fatwa ID: 3317
Title: The rules for the waiting period following a divorce, noting that the divorce has not been confirmed
Category: Family and Personal Affairs
Scholar: Dr.Salah Al-Sawy
Date: 07/27/2007

Question

May the peace, mercy and blessing of Allah be upon you.

 

My question is: There was a problem between my daughter and her husband and he kicked her out of their house, so now she is in my home, under my direction and orders alone. We have been told that he divorced her on such-and-such a day, but we are not sure. The question is:

 

First: Do I have the right to refuse to send her back? Especially because she does not want to return, let alone the fact that I fear for her because of his stern and narrow-minded nature which does not seem to have changed.

 

Second: Does she have the right to leave her house to buy things or visit people?

 

Third: What does she have to do during the waiting period and what is she not allowed to do?

 

Fourth: What are her obligations toward him, especially since they have only been married for five months and she is not pregnant?

 

What would the ruling be in either case: whether the divorce in fact occurred or if it didn`t?

 

Do we have the right to demand a divorce if we deem it an appropriate solution to the issue?

 

May Allah guide you to what pleases Him.


Answer

May the peace, mercy and blessing of Allah be upon you also, sir,

 

First: The issue of the divorce itself must be looked into: Did he truly divorce his wife or not? What kind of divorce was it? Was it according to the Sunnah (during a period in which his wife was pure from menstruation but he had not yet had relations with her) or was it a divorce of innovation? This must be determined in order to gain any insight into your daughter`s current situation and future. If it is established that he divorced her and it is a revocable divorce (first or second), the basic rule is that she spend her `idda (waiting period) in the marital home. It is neither permissible for her to leave, nor for her husband to make her leave, unless she treats him in a particularly bad manner or has a sharp tongue with her in-laws, and there is evidence for that at the beginning of Surah at-Talaq.

 

In the situation at hand, it is the husband who has made his wife leave because of an argument they had. Then, he divorced her afterwards. If he comes explaining who was wrong and offering excuses or apologies, listen to him and accept this, for reconciliation is always better, unless the wife hates him because of the way he treated her and the matter has reached the point that she will not even consider him anymore. In this situation, the case could move from that of talaq (divorce as the right of the man) to that of khula` (divorce at the request of the woman). Only if harm could uncontrovertibly be established from the husband`s side would we be facing a pronouncement of divorce due to harm [to be enforced by the ruler].

 

Second: A divorced woman must not leave the marital home in anger or without necessity. As for going out for her needs (hajah) or exigencies (daroorah), there is no blame in that.

 

Third: If she is living in the marital home, she is still under the rules of marriage: she has the right to be provided with her necessities and a place to live, she does not have to prevent her husband from having relations with her, and if he has sexual intercourse with her, he would have in effect taken her back [as his wife and the divorce would not be finalized].

 

Fourth: All of this depends on establishing the first point: has the divorce occurred or not? And of what type is it? Then, the rules may be determined accordingly. In any case, it would not be proper to stand between him and his wife even if it is established that the divorce occurred, for the basic principle during the waiting period is that she stay, as we said, in the marital home.

 

It cannot be obscure to a man of your status, sir, that the most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce, however, it might be the solution in some situations. If the woman fears that she will not uphold the limits Allah has set for her with her husband or the husband fears the same, then that is the time for consultation and seeking Allah`s guidance in taking a decision.

 

And our intention is for Allah.