In the name of Allah the Beneficent the Merciful

Peace, blessings and mercy of Allah be upon you.

What is the Shari`ah ruling about marrying from the people of the Book? And where the marriage contract, if ever happens, should be concluded, at a Muslim`s or at someone of the people of the Book`s place? Please, kindly counsel us and clarify the matter, may Allah bless you with success and prosperity. Jazakumu Allahu Khairan.

In the name of Allah the Beneficent the Merciful

Peace, blessings and mercy of Allah be upon you.

Praise be to Allah, prayers and peace be upon His kind Messenger, his family members, his companions and true followers until the Day of Judgment.

First: Allah made it permissible for Muslim men to marry from Jewish and Christian women, on condition that she must be chaste, i.e. does not commit adultery, and the custody should be with her Muslim husband over her. Allah the Almighty says: "This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. the food of the people of the book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (lawful) unto in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the people of the book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues. if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost all spiritual good (Quran, 5:5). And the meaning of "chaste" is not to commit adultery. Ibn Katheer, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: "And it is the saying of the majority of the Muslim Doctors of Fiqh in this respect, and it is the like, so as not to combine between being a non-Muslim and a non-chaste, which makes the situation corrupt altogether, and that her husband gets, as the proverb runs: "Bad dates and bad measure". It is apparent from the meaning of the verse that "chaste" refers to not committing adultery", (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, Commentary on the Holy Quraan by Ibn Katheer, 3/55). As for the condition of the custody, it is denoted by Allah`s saying: " (these are) the ones who wait and watch about you: if ye do gain a victory from God, they say: were we not with you? but if the unbelievers gain a success, they say (to them): did we not gain an advantage over you, and did we not guard you from the believers? but God will judge betwixt you on the day of judgment. and never will God grant to the unbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers", (Quran, 4:141). However, we would not recommend you, dear brother, to marry from a non-Muslim woman, and even we advise you not to marry from any Muslim woman, because marital life is not only based upon beauty and admiration, but also the sane Muslim should have a far-sighted vision to choose a wife who could keep his house protected and secured in his absence, besides, he needs a wife who could raise up his kids in a religious environment, and that would not be realized except with religious Muslim women, and this is the counsel of the prophet Muhammad, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him: Abou-Huraiyrah, may Allah be content with him, narrated that the prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, said that: "A woman is married for four reasons: for her fortune; for her family prestige; for her beauty; and for her religion. So, choose the religious one, may Allah bless you", (reported by Imams Al-Bukhari in his Sahih, 4802; and Muslim in his Sahih, 1466). Imam Al-Nawawi said: "The truth in the meaning of this Hadith is that: the prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, told us about what people normally do, because they intend for these four attributes of women, when they wish to marry, and the last one with them is the one of religion, so, you should win the one of religion, and this does not mean that he ordered us to do that". And in this Hadith an advice to make company with those of religious orientation in everything, because their company yields great values from their good manners and blessings and good ways of living, besides he feels secure against being harmed  from their sides", (Commentary by Imam Muslim, 10/52).

There are many corruptions or harms that could happen because of marrying from women from the people of the Book, such as:

1-     Being courteous to his wife, at the expense of his religion, especially if she is very religious and observant to its rituals, which necessitates her to hang the cross and go to the church, and the kids would not be trusted with her in this case.

2-     She would not keep herself clean after the menstruation period, and she would not mind having sexual intercourse with him while menstruating, which would cause him to violate the Shari`ah rules and cause him a physical harm.

3-     He would feel embarrassed about her as a result of being dressed in non-Islamic garments, and that she would mix and talk with men.

4-     She will gain the support of her country`s government in including the kids to her custody in case divorce happens, which will make the kids lost and be exposed to atheism, and there are many cases everywhere in the world in this connection.

Second: you can not coerce your Christian wife to convert to Islam, because Allah the Almighty says: "Let there be no compulsion in religion: truth stands out clear from error: whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand hold, never breaks. and God heareth and knoweth all things", (Quran, 2:256). Ibn Katheer, may Allah have mercy upon him: "Allah says: "Let there be no compulsion in religion", i.e. do not coerce anyone to convert to the religion of Islam, because its evidences and proofs are clear and transparent, that need not to be coerced or imposed on anyone, rather, whoever Allah guides him to accept Islam and makes him satisfied with it, Allah will accept him and be content with him, and whoever Allah makes him blind and never to give heed to Islam, nothing will avail to convert him to it by coercion, and they say that the reason of the revelation of this verse is that it is concerned with some of Al-Ansaar people (original inhabitants of Madinah), though it is general in addressing all Muslims in all time", (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, Commentary on the Holy Quraan by Ibn Katheer, 1/311).

We would like to recommend you – once again – to leave her, and we pray to Allah the Almighty to make your heart cling to something better for your religion, and because this leaving is intended for attaining Allah`s content and acceptance, be sure that Allah will compensate you with someone far better than her. Allah knows best.      
 
 Related Fatawa
 
 The Ruling of Marriage for Residence
 
 Marrying a Woman from the People of the Book
 
 Question regarding Islamic Marriage and Legal Marriage
 
 Can a husband hit his wife in the face?
 
 "White marriage"
 
 About marriage with the intent of divorce
 
 Secret marriage without the consent of the guardian
 
 secret marriage in special circumstances
 
 I love a girl who traveled alone
 
 Forced Marriage