I am a young Egyptian man, in the beginning of my life, and I am the oldest of my siblings (the first-born). My field of expertise is systems and information technology, and as a result, I worked for one of the biggest software companies in Egypt. This allowed me to get more experience in my field, and I was earning a good salary at this job, al-hamdulillah.

My dream had come true - I had a job at a good place - but then, suddenly, something big came along and changed the course of my life! I got a brain tumor which made me have to undergo medical tests and scans, and then I underwent three surgical operations, the second of which was considered eight operations in one. Then, I went through a period of treatment and recovery, and I have been taking medication continuously until now. My father spent all the money he had saved up for me, even though he had worked abroad, but then came the change in my appearance and behavior. Unfortunately! [sarcasm?] I started on the path of becoming religious a while ago, and this religious commitment completely transformed my character, how I deal with people, and even my appearance because I started to grow my beard.

I can’t forget this first stage of being religious, because I used to always have this feeling of joy in worship and in getting closer to Allah. As a result, when I used to see something sinful in front of me, I would go quickly to talk to the person to keep him from doing it, al-hamdulillah. I used to be so strong in taking myself to account for being lazy or falling short in enjoining the good and forbidding the evil when I would stand between Allah’s Hands [in prayer]. Then, one time, the person I advised was one of the spies from internal security. He threatened me at the time to take me into the police station, and unfortunately, I was so scared of being taken in since I remembered at that moment how my family would scare me about my condition and having had so many operations and because I still undergo regular treatment and I can’t bear the slightest blow to my head, so at the time, I left that man alone and backed off. But he informed on me anyway and made a false accusation that I belong to an illegal organization, even though I don’t have any ties with anyone, al-hamdulillah.

Then, days later, I committed a certain sin and the divine punishment came right after it. The security file came up before my father, and that is what made him ask me once again to shorten my beard or to shave it off, in addition to abandoning all outward signs of religiosity and to drop out of sight, for fear of envy. When I talked to him about placing our trust in Allah, about the fact that He is the One Who protects us, about following the injunctions of our beloved prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), and that this is the only path to salvation in the Hereafter, the answer was total rejection. He wouldn’t even listen to any of that kind of talk!

I had promised my father before that I would shave a lot of my beard off, and it was always after hearing the advice of one of the shuyoukh (the former mufti of the Emirates), who said that you can promise your father you will shave your beard just to please him, but without actually disobeying the command of Allah’s Messenger (may Allah bless him and grant him peace). So I did just that, but when it came time to shave my beard, I couldn’t keep my promise to him, so my father took to insulting me, calling me a kafir and made me out to be a hypocrite who’s left the religion! I could have almost made him have a stroke. I don’t want to be the cause of something like that! So, I shaved off a part of my beard in fear of his threat to shave it all off against my will! But it’s started to get big again now and I don’t want to leave this path after setting foot on it. I am so confused about my situation! Should I obey my father when he asks me to trim my beard, and therefore, avoid disobeying him, avoid the sin of being undutiful to my parents and avoid causing harm to his health, or should I just trim my beard (shaving off a part and leaving a part) because “a bird in the hand is better than ten on the tree” [idiom]? Or should I continue to grow my beard and have patience with the difficulties I face and win the companionship of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) in Heaven? Allah Most High has said (interpretation of the meaning): {And whosoever obeys Allah and the Messenger (Muhammad), then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, their foremost followers, the martyr and the righteous. And how excellent are these companions!}[Surat al-Nisa’ 4:69] So, should I obey my father, or disobey him and win the love of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace)?

Please advise, and may Allah benefit you, also.

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful,

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his household, his companions and those who have followed him. To proceed:

May Allah make you ever more eager to seek the truth and successful in following it, my boy. I would like to bring to your attention that the question is not as you put it because your father does not reject the Sunnah, nor does he condemn you for being religious. He is just a father who fears that his son – who is sick and who still lives with the effects of the many delicate operations that have been performed on his brain – will be subjected to a situation his health would not be strong enough to take and to which he would fall victim! You should appreciate your father’s motives and incentives. Don’t place yourself in the role of Bilal and your father in the role of Abu Jahl and let your imagination or wild ways get the best of you! You are not Bilal and your father is not Abu Jahl! Indeed, I invite you to be gentle with your father and to be patient with him. Try to get through to him through those you think he would listen to and accept advice from, but if things come to a head, there would be nothing wrong with trimming your beard, taking the allowance out of fear of being tested, in order to please your father and to be lenient with him in his old age, and I hope Allah (Mighty & Majestic) will pardon you. We ask Allah to grant us success and steadfastness.

And Allah Almighty is the Most High, and He knows best.