For over 23 years, my father blocked all the roads leading me to marriage and lately exhausted 35,000 dollars of our savings after we decided together on buying a house in cash to avoid getting a mortgage In addition, he keeps the problems and conflicts he evokes unsolved which stresses and overwhelms me Most importantly, he uses my fear from going out alone and my need for protection against me; in other words he uses me financially, abuses me emotionally, and neglects almost all my "self-paid" needs And in case I protest, he leaves me p for days or weeks without telling me where he is By the way, although he is now 70 and critically sick, his stubbornness and selfishness are far from over and I am at risk and need your advice

All praise be to Allah and may His blessings and peace be on His last messenger, Muhammad. If what you said is true, you should speak to a local imam who will override your father’s guardianship if he prevented you from marrying the next suitor for no legitimate reason. Allah didn’t give any human being absolute authority over another human being, and if there is a dispute between the bride and her guardian, then they follow this prophetic advice reported from 'Aishah (Allah be pleased with her): "أيما امرأة نكحت بغير إذن وليها فنكاحها باطل فنكاحها باطل ، فنكاحها باطل ، فإن دخل بها فلها المهر بما استحل من فرجها ، فإن اشتجروا فالسلطان ولي من لا ولي له ." "Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated, then the mahr is hers because he had intercourse with her. If they dispute, then the ruler [in the west, scholars and imams well respected in their respective communities] is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” (T;D;Ma-T:Sound) Having said that, I would still encourage you to be respectful and dutiful towards your father, and count this as sabr with an affliction that Allah is testing you with. Again, this doesn’t mean that you allow him to prevent you from marriage, because that is what the creator desires for you and all adult men and women. And Allah knows best.