I always saw and felt that my parents didn't treat me right and they would always chastise me and never chastise my sisters to the point where my sisters are now extremely spoiled and my parents don't discipline them to behave properly. My sister wears make-up, tight clothes and dresses in a very revealing manner outside the home. She doesn't pray. Because of my parents unfairness towards me I'm psychologically very hurt and resent my family greatly for a lifetime of unfairness. Sometimes the internal pain manifests into fighting with my parents. I'm afraid I will be punished by Allah. If my parents hurt and abused me psychologically and didn't treat me fairly with my siblings, do I have any argument against them on the Day of Judgement?

All praise be to Allah, and may His blessings and peace be on His last prophet and messenger, Muhammad.

Fairness between the children is an essential ingredient of good parenthood in Islam. Narrated “Alnu’man ibn Basheer  (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) that his father took him to the Prophet  and said, ‘I have given my son this servant as a gift.’ The Messenger said to him: ‘Have you given to your other children a similar gift?’ he said, ‘No’. The Messenger of Allah said: ‘Then take back your gift!’ in another narration he said: ‘Basheer! Do you have other children?’  He said, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet said: “have you given them the like of him?” he said: no. The prophet said: “then do not expect me to witness this; I do not witness injustice” or he said: “seek a witness other than me”. He then said: “will you be pleased if all of them will equally good to you?” he replied: yes. He said: “then do not do that." In some report, he (blessings and peace be upon him) said, “Fear Allah and be just between your children.”

Having said that, I must also remind you of the special position of the parents in Islam. Allah said,

"وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفاً"

 “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Luqmaan 31:15]

In light of that, and since there is nothing worse than disbelief, the rights of parents do not drop even when they are abusive. This doesn’t mean you should subject yourself to their abuse. You will try to avoid that as much as possible. The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said,

"لا ضرر ولا ضرار."

“There should be no harm or reciprocation of harm.” [Ahmad from Ibn Abbas, and it is sound].

Here are some tips that you may find helpful in dealing with your parents:

1-           Do all things for Allah, and then, you will be waiting for compensation from him, and when people meet your kindness with cruelty, you will be sure Allah only compensates good by good. He said,

"هَلْ جَزَاءُ الْإِحْسَانِ إِلَّا الْإِحْسَانُ "

"Is there any reward for good other than good?" [Ar-Rahman 55:60]

2-           Try to remember that your parents who mistreated you are also the ones who looked after you as an infant and child. You mother particularly has a greater right. Allah said,

"وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ"

"And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years - give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination." [Luqman 31:14]

3-           When we forgive, it is we who win and overcome the human weaknesses of egotism and vengeance. There are no people more deserving of our forgiveness than our parents particularly our mothers. An-Nasaey and others authentically reported from Mu’awiyah ibn Jahimah, that he came to the Prophet and said,

"يا رسول الله أردتُ أن أغزو ، وقد جئت أستشيرك فقال: هل لك أم ؟ قال : نعم ، قال : فالزمها ؛ فإن الجنة تحت رجليها".

 “O Messenger of Allah, I want to go out for jihad and I have come to consult you.” He said, “Do you have a mother?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then stay by her, for Paradise is underneath her feet.”

On the day of judgment, you will be judged for what you did, and they for what they did. If they were unfair to you, then most certainly, you will have an argument against them in front of Allah.

Make plenty of du’aa’ for Allah to help you in this trial, and make it your means of getting even closer to him.

Allah knows best.