Assalaamu 'alaykum, 

Jazaakum Allahu khairan for your time and service. I was wondering if I have to obey my (non-Muslim) parents in all matters that are mubah. For example, one of the subjects I am studying at university I find boring and to be a waste of time to sit for hours in the lectures, etc. I can spend 30 min. reading the notes myself and do something more productive for the akhirah rather than sitting for 2-3 hours listening to non-beneficial information. So is it sinful if I skip some classes without my parent's knowledge...with the intent to do something I think is more productive, and if I don't think skipping the class has a harmful effect on my performance on the exams, insha'Allah. 

Jazaakum Allahu khairan

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Grantor of Mercy

All praise belongs to Allah, and may prayers and peace be upon Allah’s final Messenger.

Skipping those classes without your parent’s knowledge is not disobedience unless they commanded you to attend all classes.

It is important first that we remind ourselves of the importance of being dutiful towards the parents.

Allah said,

"وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا* وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا"

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them, but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small." [Qur'an, Sahih International: 17:23-24]

The meaning of “And lower to them the wing of humility” is to show them your submissive side, out of mercy and affection.

Therefore, we must obey the parents in every command, unless:

1.            They command disobedience

For the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him) said,

"لَا طاعةَ في معصية اللَه، إنما الطاعة في المعروف."

“There is no obedience to anyone at the expense of disobeying Allah. Obedience is only with regard to that which is sensible and good.” [Agreed upon]

2.            They command the routine abandonment of Sunnah practices

Although they may command him to miss a preferable action, but they can’t do that routinely or ask him to miss it all the time. This means that they can ask him to break his fast on some days, but may not prevent him from fasting on Mondays forever. Imam Taqiy-ud-Deen as-Subki quoted from at-Tartousi al-Maliki,

" إذا نهياه عن سنة راتبة المرة بعد المرة أطاعهما وإن كان ذلك على الدوام فلا طاعة لهما فيه لما فيه من إماتة الشرع"

“If they prevented him from some of the routine Sunnah prayers on a random basis, he should obey them. However, if they ask him to miss it all the time, there shall be no obedience due to them. For that compromises the Sharia.”

3.            They command something senseless

For the aforementioned hadith. However, this [what they command] has to be considered senseless according to all sensible people. Otherwise, it opens a huge gate to disobedience when the child is the one who determines whether the command is sensible or not. Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haitami said,

"ولقد شاهدت من بعض الآباء مع أبنائهم أمورا في غاية الحمق التي أوجبت لكل من سمعها أن يعذر الولد ويخطئ الوالد..."

“I have seen of some parents with regard to their children things that are utterly senseless, making anyone hearing about them pardon the child and blame the parent...”

4.            They command something of no benefit to them or him

Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haitami said,

" وبهذا يعلم أنه لا يلزم الولد امتثال أمر والده بالتزام مذهبه لأن ذاك حيث لا غرض فيه صحيح مجرد حمق."

“According to this, it is to be known that the child may not have to obey the parent in following his madhhab. For this, when devoid of a good reason, is basically foolishness.”

5.            They command something that is harmful to him or too burdensome

For the Messenger of Allah said,

"لا ضرر ولا ضرار."

“There should be no harm or reciprocation of harm.” It also means that one may not harm himself or others. [Reported by Ahmad, and it is sound].

Shaikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said,

"ويلزم الإنسان طاعة والديه في غير المعصية وإن كانا فاسقين، وهو ظاهر إطلاق أحمد، وهذا فيما فيه منفعة لهما ولا ضرر، فإن شق عليه ولم يضره وجب وإلا فلا."

“It is incumbent upon people to obey their parents in that which is not disobedience to Allah, even if they [the parents] are transgressors. This is the apparent meaning of Ahmad’s statements. This pertains, though, to that which bears benefit to them and no harm to him. However, if it poses harm to him, then it is not mandatory.”

Based on the above criteria, if your parents have a valid purpose for ordering you to attend all classes, and it doesn’t cause you harm to do that, you should obey them.

Allah knows best.