In the name of Allah the Beneficent the Merciful

Peace, blessings and mercy of Allah be you.

There are some problems between me and my wife`s mother, and because I do not want to prevent my wife from reaching out for her family, I agreed with her to reduce talks with her mother, as well as their visits to each others.

There are two questions:

(1)    Is that agreement acceptable by Shari`ah? And what is the minimum limit of these talks and visits, as it pleases Allah?

(2)    For reasons that are too complicated to explain here, I do not want my wife`s mother to enjoy herself with my possessions and properties after my death, and I wish them to only be enjoyed by my wife and my kids. Is it acceptable by Shari`ah to write in my will that my mother in law`s visits shall be limited and that she shall not use my properties except in a very limited way, though she is considered secular and has a low profile in faith, and I am afraid that she would passively affect my wife and kids. So, is this acceptable by Shari`ah? And will this be legally binding to my wife? Jazakum Allah Khairan.

In the Name of Allah the Beneficent the Merciful

Praise be to Allah, prayers and peace be upon His kind Messenger, his family members, companions and followers.

Allah the Almighty has ordered Muslims to be nice to their parents, even if they are non-Muslims, as He says: "But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the worldly life kindly", (Quran, 31:15). In your prevention of your wife to be kind to he mother is against the kind Quranic directives, but you say that your relation with your wife`s mother is tense, and this does not change the Shari`ah stand anything. Suppose your wife`s relation with your mother in not well, will you treat your mother with the same attitude to please your wife? It is a Shari`ah rule that there is no obedience for a person in disobeying Allah. You are supposed to help your wife be kind to her mother, and not the opposite. As for your saying that your wife`s mother is secular and weak in faith, you are supposed in this case to be kind to her and encourage her to better understand her religion rightly. If we are required to make Da`wah to non-Muslims for Islam, it would be better to be patient with those who divert into the wrong way, until we take with his/her hands to the right path.

As for your fear that she would enjoy herself with your properties and possessions after your death, I would say that your fear is strange, because lives are controlled by Allah, and nobody knows who dies before who, and properties and wealth after death go to his inheritors and he has no right to control its benefits. How do you imagine that a Muslim writes in his will that his wife and kids cut reaching out for their kin and not to be kind to his/her mother? Please, think the matter over and avoid such devastating ideas and you should honestly do more to show how great, tolerant and kind Islam is to Muslims and non-Muslims in general and to your mother in law in particular, and be quite sure that Allah will not waste away any effort for goodness and kindness; because Allah holds hearts between two fingers of His and controls them the way He wills, as our prophet Muhammad, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said. Allah knows best.